A Bumpy Road to Paradise - Couples Ocho Rios, Jamaica

PO BOX 330 Tower Isle

St-Mary, Jamaica, WI

(876) 975-4271

http://www.couples.com/11or/index.html

Having lived in New York City my entire life, I am familiar with infrastructure construction and the headaches it causes - poor road conditions, traffic jams, etc. After having been to Jamaica I have a newfound respect for NYC construction workers and the work they do to maintain our roads. The bumpy road(s) to Jamaica (in more than just the literal sense) might be enough to make me consider not going back ever again - or at least not until they finish construction.

My wife and I decided to take a vacation to Couple Ocho Rios (COR) All-Inclusive resort in Jamaica. We hadn't taken a real vacation in several years and thought it was about time. We had a general idea that we wanted an island vacation and I suggested Bermuda, Turks & Caicos, Jamaica and the Bahamas. She did a lot of research and narrowed it down to COR because of the all-inclusive aspects and the favorable reviews she found online. This was all later confirmed when we read in the November 2006 Conde Nast Traveler magazine that it was rated #14 (out of 25) for Top Caribbean Resorts.

I'm not a big vacation person, so I thought that 4 days/3 nights would be a nice break and allow me to return home before I started getting too bored. My wife heard some things suggesting that the first and last day of out trip could be taken-up by travel between the airport and the resort, but I (mistakenly) dismissed her advice - much to my regret.

We woke up early for our 7am flight and made it to LGA with no problems. We did not have a direct flight and would be making a transfer in Philadelphia. This all went fine. A few hours later we were looking out of the plane at the turquoise water below and were soon on the ground in Jamaica. We exited the plane and were directed to immigration. Immigration (part 1) turned out to be a giant, hot room where we stood on a snaking line for 15-20 minutes to make our way to a Jamaican immigration officer so that they could check us in. Next we went downstairs to an even worse madhouse - baggage collection. We checked the monitor and waited by the indicated conveyor belt. The baggage never showed. Another 20 minutes later we found it on another conveyor belt. Next, we were told to check with customs to exit into the country. The 'line' to customs was a mob of people - the mob was white-trash, middle-America. After another 20 minutes we made our way to an officer and were allowed to enter the area where we would pick up our bus to the resort. We made our way to the booth for the Couples resort and finally got to relax. We were offered a local Red Strip beer but didn't have much time to sit and enjoy as a representative from Couples told us it was time to move out. We made our way to the bus and met the other 4 or 5 couples who would accompany us on our journey.

As soon as we left the airport gates I was struck by two things - the extreme poverty and the horrible road conditions. Jamaica is known for its tourism but they obviously haven't used the profits from that industry to invest in the roads. We were informed that it was a 2-hour (minimum) drive and that the road was like this for most of the trip. Now don't get me wrong, I know that parts of America have extreme poverty and undeveloped infrastructure, but the USA has one of the best highway systems in the world and the poverty wasn't as extensive as what I saw here. On a two hour drive, I probably saw ten minutes worth of what would be considered middle or upper class housing in the USA and the rest was shacks, shanty houses, destroyed buildings that people were living in, filthy conditions, animals running around, etc. As for the road, it was explained to me that they had been working on it for some time and were going to be done sometime soon. If this road represented years of work then Jamaica needs to hire itself some new Civil engineers. I complain about the speed and quality of work done on something like the Long Island Expressway, but now I have no right to complain. These people seemed to be using the most primitive techniques and nothing seemed to be very organized.

Finally, later that evening, we arrived at the resort. The staff greeted us and everyone was very nice. Our bags were taken and we were escorted to a waiting area and offered drinks. Information was taken and we were then able to have dinner. That night we went with the buffet, which unlike most buffets, was quite good. They offered a nice mix of meats and sides, most with names that seemed to suggest they were authentic Jamaican cuisine. I learned over the next few days that most were not actual Jamaican dishes, but they were spiced and named in such a way that made them seem so - they were still good.

Our room was nice and had a balcony that provided a view of the ocean. It was nice to be able to leave the sliding door open and listen to the surf. One problem we discovered was, because of the humidity, if you left th door open and the AC off, the room would become a water park. We were advised to leave the door closed and the AC on full-blast - my AC-loving wife appreciated that. But I enjoyed the magnificent view over the next few days of the Carribean Sea. From the plane and then in person, I have never seen such clear, clean blue water. The sea streatches as far as the eye can see.

We pretty much spent our days on the beach. The resort has a lot of people but it doesn't seem crowded. We were always able to get a beach chair and a prime spot on the beach. For the next two days we swam, slept on the beach, rode a catamaran, kayaked and aquabiked. The water is much warmer then the water off of Long Island and as I mentioned, incredibly clear. It was so clear that my paranoia of the ocean was at its peak with my newfound ability to see my imaginary foes approaching and lurking just beneath the surface. Unfortunately, my fear of the water ruined the kayaking trip we took but I fared better on the catamaran. I did fine playing like a 3-year old in the waist high surf.

The property is very nice and well kept. It seems like a well-worm tropical resort - just what it is. There was pretty much always food available. Right by the beach was a grill where they served delicious jerk pork and chicken. I actually preferred the fatty pork. The extra jerk sauce provided a nice, spicy kick. The also offered fish and chips which weren't so great and sloppy ice cream cones that while nothing to go crazy over, were a nice refreshment after the spicy jerk food.

The fancy restaurants on the premises can be skipped in favor of the buffet. We never went to the Veranda (international food/sit-down) but we went to Le Gourmet for a 'fancy' meal and we almost went to Bayside for Italian food. Le Gourmet is setup to be a fancy place on the inside, with a piano player that plays too loud. The staff is very friendly and attentive. The food tries to be creative and presented well, but ends up being nice in a Queens, NY sort of way. The next night, we took one look at the Bayside menu, looked at the kitchen and thought about all of the Italian places we have experienced in NYC and the food we are capable of cooking ourselves and opted for the buffet again.

The weather was wonderful all four days. It rained on one day and even that was nice. It was strange, I stood out on my balcony to watch the rain and it was actually raining on one half of the property but not the other. The property isn't that big, it was that the storm was that small. The property does have some nice things for couples to discover. If you walk around out front, there is a garden with a hammock and with two hidden jacuzzis. One can get lost walking through the garden and it is advised that you don't wear nice shoes if you go explore this area. There seems to be some kind of bird sanctuary in this garden but it doesn't seem built for public viewing. Maybe we just didn't go to the right part to view the birds. We only heard there shrieking cries that reminded me of velociraptors from Jurassic Park. The birds could be heard all night with their piercing cries.

On our last night, we attending a cocktail party on the pier and as we were leaving, a staff member approached and congratulated us on our 8th anniversary. She asked if anyone gave us a gift and we said no. Later that night, a plate of chocolates and a bottle of champagne was delivered to our hotel room.

One our last day, we left early to make sure we didnt miss any flights. The bus ride back to the airport was just as long and the commute to the resort. We got to the airport and checked in our luggage and had some time to kill. Lunch at Margaritaville was expensive and not great. Finally, the plane arrived - late. We were nervous because we had a connecting flight that left about 1.5 hours after we landed in Philly. We arrived in Philly and were hit with the bad news that we needed to retrieve our luggage , go through customs and then check it back in before the next flight! We were already running late, waited an eternity for the luggage, ran through customs, checked it in (being assured it would get to our place) and then had to wait for a shuttle to take us to the correct part of the airport. The shuttle finally got us there and we ran out onto the tarmac to get our next flight. We finally got to LGA but our luggage did not. After waiting to see if it came on the next two flights, we went home and it arrived 6am the next morning.

Overall, Couples Ocho Rios is a beautiful resort with friendly, hospitable staff and plenty of things to keep you occupied. The ocean is beautiful and you really get your money's worth if you want lots of things to do, but I think it is worth it even to just lay on the beach and forget the world. Unfortunately, the effort required to get there and back each consume an entire day, which strikes me as unfair because you still have to pay for those days to the resort. That aspect, in addition to wanted to see other parts of the world, would probably keep me from going back in the near future. I hope Jamaica improves their roads, builds a high-speed train from the airport to those areas or companies build reosrts closer to the airport.

My Birthday Dinner at the Mall - Per Se Restaurant
10 Columbus Circle (at 60th Street)
4th Floor
New York, NY 10019
212.823.9335
http://www.frenchlaundry.com/perse/pscontactgeneral.htm

This past Sunday was my birthday and I had every intention of not doing much of anything. My wife went shopping and had plans to make a nice dinner of Saltimbocca (veal with proscuitto on top) and then have my family over for cake. The day was going fine and then around 3:30pm I received a phone call. The caller was looking for my wife and said they were from Per Se restaurant. My interest piqued, I decided to handle this one - "I'm her husband Frank, how can I help you?" I said. Apparently, two months ago, my wife had tried to make a reservation for this period of time and nothing was available, but they took her name and put it on a waiting list. Coincidently, on my 30th birthday, a 5:30pm reservation had opened up - even though I had committed to a relaxing evening at home and no fancy, overly expensive dinner, it seemed too good of an opportunity to pass up. My wife hearing all of this, smiled and indicated that I would be crazy not to take the reservation. So, after quickly changing and having my family over for an extremely quick celebration, I was on my way to the Time Warner Center Mall in midtown Manhattan to eat at what is supposed to be one of NYC's finest restaurants.


We arrived at TWCM and parked underground - no sense in trying to find street parking in that area at that time. I called Per Se and they told me to take the escalator to the 4th floor. We entered the mall; it seems like a nice mall with some fancy stores, but ultimately a mall. My wife and I laughed at the irony of it all - going to such a fancy place by taking the escalator with the tourists and masses of shoppers inside a crowded mall. We arrived at the 4th floor and walked over to a balcony to take in the view as we were 15 minutes early. Turning around, I saw Bar Masa restaurant behind us. Maybe one day Masa or Bar Masa could be on our list. Per Se was off to the side. The front doors were two electric blue doors with gold knockers. I knew from articles I read that they were not the real doors and that one of the glass panes on the side slid aside for entrance. In front of this is a garden like arrangement with some benches. We could have sat there but there was a rope in front of the entrance to this area and I decided to wait patiently. Per Se has a small booth with large quantities of its three menus available for the taking by passer-bys. Again, another slightly strange thing for a place Per Se to do - I thought to myself 'Maybe I should drop my preconceived notions of this place because it is a lot quirkier than I anticipated' - which is a good thing after the intimidating formality of Alain Ducasse.

While waiting, some self-important people arrived. All dressed in their fur coats and looking very important. One youngish man and woman, too good to wait, pushed aside the rope and proudly walked up to the blue doors - the guy then spent the next minute trying with all his might to open the fake doors - I loved it - what an ass! Another couple that arrived one minute after we did looked at us and we all smiled knowingly. This idiot kept smiling back sheepishly at the rest of the group and then finally decided to pull back from the doors. The couple next to us waited one more minute and then entered the garden and approached the glass pane - it slid aside and they entered. We brushed past the crowd of nobodies at the entrance to the garden and walked to the pane and entered. I gave my name and the hostesses responded with smiles. We were escorted to a wonderful table - a banquette with soft back pillows in a corner with full view of the entire main dining room. The place only has 15 tables (plus 1 table for larger parties off to the side).

As with Ducasse, they asked us if we wanted champagne and this time we went with a rose' (this blog doesn't allow me to make the character I want to, but you know what I mean!). We had also prepped ourselves for the wine list, so imagine my surprise when they presented it and informed me that they were known for their half-bottle selection! I opened it and found many choices at the $50-$70 range - expensive yes, but well below the $130 we paid at Ducasse. To make things even better, they had one of my FAVORITE producers on the wine menu - Dr. Loosen. We had wine from this vineyard at Charlie Trotter's in Chicago and I have loved it ever since but have not had it ever since. I immediately decided to have that and a pinot noir from California. We already saw the menus outside and decided to go with the Chef's tasting menu ( they also have a vegetarian tasting menu and a holiday tasting menu).

The female server for our table was very friendly. We engaged in actual conversation about our ages, my birthday and where we were from. This was not at all what I expected from Per Se and was so relieved at the thought of eating such a wonderful meal with real human beings serving us. The amuse bouche was brought out - an ice cream cone topped with a salmon mousse and creme fraiche inside. The ice cream cone was crunchy and had a taste almost of wonton wrapper...very nice to start. Next came 'Oysters and Pearls' - pearl tapioca with island creek oysters and topped with caviar. My wife doesn't enjoy any of these elements and normally I might not, but I love good food and the sum of all the parts greatly enhanced the flavor and enjoyment I would derive from eating them alone. I finished mine because of enjoyment; I think she finished hers after doing the mental math of what it would cost if she didn't eat it!

This meal took place a few days ago, so my memory is a little hazy. I write this blog for anyone who cares to read it, but also for myself so I can possibly look back on this years from now and have something to jog my memory of a wonderful event. I think they brought out another off-menu item next. It was an egg shell that contained a black truffle like gravy and a custard on the bottom. inside of this mixed they stuck a chip made of chive. The white custard was supposed to evoke the natural egg. The 'gravy' and this custard blended well into a meaty, savory mix and again was finished.

Next came two different servings - we were asked at the beginning what we each would want at this juncture. I chose a corn polenta and she chose her foie gras. Funny note here - my wife saw a documentary some time back about how geese are prepared for their livers to be removed to be made into foie gras and she was supposedly so shocked she swore she'd never eat it again. I think she passed it up once right after seeing that show and then has had it a few times since - i take pleasure in reminding her of this and she takes pleasure in telling me to shut up. My white corn polenta came inside a crispy shell and covered with somepoached pear and anise-hyssop and sitting on piqullo pepper vierge. Her foie gras was a terrine and came with apple marmalade, crystalized apple ship and balsamic glaze and large pieces of delicious brioche. So far I was thinking two things - the food is wonderful and the food is an eclectic mix.

The Dr. Loosen white wine was everything I remembered - it is sweet and perfectly balanced. I highly recommended you seek out their wines.

Next came the fish - a crispy skin fillet of royal dorade with radishes and pistachio butter and nicose olive oil. This fishy has a slightly fishy taste and smell but is flaky and tastes very good. That dish was okay but the next bit of seafood was magnificent - butter poached novia scotia lobster with chesnut ravioli and brown butter emulsion. The lobster was tender but meaty and sweet. The ravioli was delicious - another pasta surprise at a non-Italian establishment.

Meat dishes would be next. First, pan rosted breast of farmers quail. The leg was stuffed with foie gras and it was all served with french prune, endive and quail jus. Thsi dish was okay - the quail skin was a little rubbery for our taste. Second was a rib-eye of veal - so I ended up having the veal that I so desperately desired. Served with lentils and pearl onions in a veal sauce. It was a very good, substantial piece of meat cooked perfectly pink. I was actually feeling full at this point but the meat was so good that I finished it all. I needed a break a this point but they brought out the per se falafel. Apparantly one of the chefs has a falafel stand in his area that he loves and created one for the restaurant of spiced chickpeas, marinated cucumber and mint infused extra-virgin olive oil. Very nice little bite.

Now I knew desert was coming. First was the palate cleanser of pomegranate sorbet. I love pomegranate and this did not disappoint. The main dessert was a milk chocolate and hezelnut streusel with condensed milk sorbet and covered in salty hazelnuts. Mine had a birthday candle in it. Very good as well. I seemed to remember them providing little bites afterwards - chocolates and butter cookies. I had them pack the delicious butter cookies for me.

The service was timely and refined. Much care was given to presentation. The bathrooms are beautiful. The decor is dark woods and reminded me of Asian influences. The view is quite nice - part of the park and the traffic of the city. If you were outside it wouldnt be so nice, but inside, with no sound it looks serene, especially at night. I thought everyone was very good overall. We left and they gave us a bag with macaroons for the next day - just like Ducasse, except Ducasse's were better. The total bill came to $747, with tax and tip is included (at 18% I believe). When I got home, I was reviewing the bill and realized they overcharged me for a hlaf-bottle of wine. I called and spoke to the maitre de - he apologized as they had accidently charged me for a full instead of half bottle - adjusted bill was $708.

Overall (1 to 10) - 8.8
Total Cost: $708
Positive: Food, decor, friendly staff
Things to consider: Cost

Alain Ducasse at the Essex House - Perfection? But at what price?

I had always joked about going here but the potential cost made me feel that I would be the object of ridicule for the foolishness of spending so much money on a single meal. With its impending closure approaching (they are moving to a new location), and the excuse of my birthday and 8th wedding anniversary available, I figured we might as well just go for it...what else are Wednesday's for? While I knew it would be expensive, I don't think I truly grasped how quickly things can add up at Ducasse.

We entered the Essex on 58th and approached the heavy wooden doors that led into Ducasse. Looking back, a place like this should have doormen on the inside who anticipate your approach and open the doors for you. Instead, I opened the door for my wife and was greeted by a bit of confusion on the inside - there were three or four people in a small foyer type area. They quickly came to our attention, taking note of our reservation and taking our bag and coats without the necessity of a tag. We entered the main dining room and were taken to a nice table against the wall by the windows. The decor was dark and elegant...musical instruments had been melded into the walls of the restaurant and then colorful paint applied. The actual effect isn't as ridiculous as it sounds. Speaking of 'ridiculous' and 'sounds,' at one point a tune started playing and we swore it was the ringtone of a cheap cellphone. It kept playing and playing and my wife and I looked at each other thinking "Who had the nerve to leave their cheap cellphone on in a place like this?!?" - it turns out that it was actual some weird, cheap music that the restaurant was playing through their shoddy sounding audio system. Fortunately it went away quickly.

Since we knew the financial damage was going to be bad no matter what we did, we decided to go with the Fall tasting menu. The first attendant approached with a cart full of a wonderful assortment of liqueurs and offered us champagne. We went with a glass of the house specialty and were not disappointed - champagne is really a wonderful drink. I was even having a conversation with a friend recently about how people should stop thinking it is only for rare, special occasions and take the time to discover the joys of $15 bottles so they can enjoy it all the time. Next came the attendant to ask our choice of water. He was shocked when I said tap would be fine...he asked me "You mean...NY water?" as if I was going to be ingesting a radioactive poison by doing so. Somehow we survived. They started us with an amuse of a puff pastry with gruer cheese...incredibly light and tasty. It literally melted in my mouth and was gone. Fortunately, the service is so perfect here that you never have to wait long for anything to arrive next.

The sommelier came by to give me the wine list. I knew the food would be expensive, but I had no idea that I wouldn't be able to select a bottle below $160! I was so taken aback and wasn't sure what to do. He came by and I feebly tried to mention something about not wanting to drink much because of an early morning trip the next day. I believe he sensed my discomfort and took pity on me....he told me he was about to open a half-bottle of a special 1995 Pinot Noir and that perhaps that would work for me. I figured that a half-bottle couldn't be that bad (I was wrong) and decided to just go for it...I had already decided to swim with the sharks, I might as well jump into the bloody water!

First course was a carpaccio of hawaiian escolar with granny smith cucumber vinegar and caviar. The fish was moist, clean and fresh. The granny smith accompaniment and caviar adding the right touches of tart and salt to the fish. We were off to a good start. They kept up the pace with an amazingly fresh assortment of autumn vegetables and fruits with natural dressing. They each bursted with flavor and the taste of the season. Each one seemed as if it had just been picked and barely cooked in order to maximize its deliciousnesses. The presentation of each dish was done with a high level of synchronization and care. As I mentioned, the dishes were also brought out at just the right pace. Next came an utterly amazing dish full of foam that I was told hid some foie gras/tapioca ravioli beneath. The foam was celery flavored and although I am skeptical about pasta in non-Italian (and even in most Italian) restaurants, this was to die for. It was cooked perfectly and the foie gras/tapioca filling was divine.

My wine ($130 for a half-bottle) was actually quite good. It started very light and subtle in flavor and by this point had developed some character and bolder flavors. It was also making me drunk incredibly fast. Next came the butter poached lobster with salisify/mango hearts of palm. The lobster was cooked to the proper firmness and the natural sweetness was only heightened by the butter. Lately, many places we have gone to just haven't gotten lobster right, but here it was a perfectly cooked morsel. The surrounding vegetable and fruit went perfectly with the flavors of the seafood. After this came the protein in the form of medallions of venison with stuffed prune sweet potato and beet. The meat was cooked medium rare and its accompanying sweet potato was amazing. It was stuffed with some foie gras I believe and although I normally don't go crazy over the stuff, I couldn't get enough of it here because of their expertise in preparation.

The main meal was done and we were presented with a finely matured piece of truffled brie cheese. It was strong and heady stuff. My wife needed a nice baguette to make it work. I polished it off but it wasn't easy as this a challenging morsel of cheese. But I did it and was happy for it. I wasn't prepared for the parade of desserts that was about to happen next. I expected the typical palate cleanser and a dessert...maybe some petite fours to end. Ducasse goes a mile beyond most places. The palate cleanser came and the sour cream sorbet did its job. Then came the toasted peanut biscuit with chocolate cremeux and BEER flavored foam. Then came the man with the box full of chocolates from which you could have whatever you wanted. Then they placed a bowl of the BEST macaroons I have ever had. I requested that the three I couldn't eat be put into a small box for me. They never took them away and I would soon find out why. Then came another man with a huge cart full of desserts of all sizes, shapes and types from which you could pick anything you wanted! they do this on purpose because most people possibly couldn't eat much more at this point! What a cruel joke.

So we finished and were ready to go. By the way, the man who served the bread was wonderful. If you simply caught his eye from anywhere in the room and motioned, he immediately ran to the fantastic bread tray and whisked it over to you. Great guy. We paid the bill and went to collect our belongings. In addition to their tradition of a bricohe for the next morning, they gave us an entire box full of those macaroons!

Overall, Ducasse really is a wonderful restaurant. Yes, saying it is expensive is an understatement, but if you go here, you know what you are getting into. It is also a bit intimidating, but maybe thats because I felt like the staff could sense I wasn't rich, and maybe I really shouldn't be there - but I survived and am happy and full for it. The total bill with tax and tip was $835.

Rating(1-10): 8.7
Pros: Amazing food and service
Cons: Very expensive, the dinner music