A Bumpy Road to Paradise - Couples Ocho Rios, Jamaica

PO BOX 330 Tower Isle

St-Mary, Jamaica, WI

(876) 975-4271

http://www.couples.com/11or/index.html

Having lived in New York City my entire life, I am familiar with infrastructure construction and the headaches it causes - poor road conditions, traffic jams, etc. After having been to Jamaica I have a newfound respect for NYC construction workers and the work they do to maintain our roads. The bumpy road(s) to Jamaica (in more than just the literal sense) might be enough to make me consider not going back ever again - or at least not until they finish construction.

My wife and I decided to take a vacation to Couple Ocho Rios (COR) All-Inclusive resort in Jamaica. We hadn't taken a real vacation in several years and thought it was about time. We had a general idea that we wanted an island vacation and I suggested Bermuda, Turks & Caicos, Jamaica and the Bahamas. She did a lot of research and narrowed it down to COR because of the all-inclusive aspects and the favorable reviews she found online. This was all later confirmed when we read in the November 2006 Conde Nast Traveler magazine that it was rated #14 (out of 25) for Top Caribbean Resorts.

I'm not a big vacation person, so I thought that 4 days/3 nights would be a nice break and allow me to return home before I started getting too bored. My wife heard some things suggesting that the first and last day of out trip could be taken-up by travel between the airport and the resort, but I (mistakenly) dismissed her advice - much to my regret.

We woke up early for our 7am flight and made it to LGA with no problems. We did not have a direct flight and would be making a transfer in Philadelphia. This all went fine. A few hours later we were looking out of the plane at the turquoise water below and were soon on the ground in Jamaica. We exited the plane and were directed to immigration. Immigration (part 1) turned out to be a giant, hot room where we stood on a snaking line for 15-20 minutes to make our way to a Jamaican immigration officer so that they could check us in. Next we went downstairs to an even worse madhouse - baggage collection. We checked the monitor and waited by the indicated conveyor belt. The baggage never showed. Another 20 minutes later we found it on another conveyor belt. Next, we were told to check with customs to exit into the country. The 'line' to customs was a mob of people - the mob was white-trash, middle-America. After another 20 minutes we made our way to an officer and were allowed to enter the area where we would pick up our bus to the resort. We made our way to the booth for the Couples resort and finally got to relax. We were offered a local Red Strip beer but didn't have much time to sit and enjoy as a representative from Couples told us it was time to move out. We made our way to the bus and met the other 4 or 5 couples who would accompany us on our journey.

As soon as we left the airport gates I was struck by two things - the extreme poverty and the horrible road conditions. Jamaica is known for its tourism but they obviously haven't used the profits from that industry to invest in the roads. We were informed that it was a 2-hour (minimum) drive and that the road was like this for most of the trip. Now don't get me wrong, I know that parts of America have extreme poverty and undeveloped infrastructure, but the USA has one of the best highway systems in the world and the poverty wasn't as extensive as what I saw here. On a two hour drive, I probably saw ten minutes worth of what would be considered middle or upper class housing in the USA and the rest was shacks, shanty houses, destroyed buildings that people were living in, filthy conditions, animals running around, etc. As for the road, it was explained to me that they had been working on it for some time and were going to be done sometime soon. If this road represented years of work then Jamaica needs to hire itself some new Civil engineers. I complain about the speed and quality of work done on something like the Long Island Expressway, but now I have no right to complain. These people seemed to be using the most primitive techniques and nothing seemed to be very organized.

Finally, later that evening, we arrived at the resort. The staff greeted us and everyone was very nice. Our bags were taken and we were escorted to a waiting area and offered drinks. Information was taken and we were then able to have dinner. That night we went with the buffet, which unlike most buffets, was quite good. They offered a nice mix of meats and sides, most with names that seemed to suggest they were authentic Jamaican cuisine. I learned over the next few days that most were not actual Jamaican dishes, but they were spiced and named in such a way that made them seem so - they were still good.

Our room was nice and had a balcony that provided a view of the ocean. It was nice to be able to leave the sliding door open and listen to the surf. One problem we discovered was, because of the humidity, if you left th door open and the AC off, the room would become a water park. We were advised to leave the door closed and the AC on full-blast - my AC-loving wife appreciated that. But I enjoyed the magnificent view over the next few days of the Carribean Sea. From the plane and then in person, I have never seen such clear, clean blue water. The sea streatches as far as the eye can see.

We pretty much spent our days on the beach. The resort has a lot of people but it doesn't seem crowded. We were always able to get a beach chair and a prime spot on the beach. For the next two days we swam, slept on the beach, rode a catamaran, kayaked and aquabiked. The water is much warmer then the water off of Long Island and as I mentioned, incredibly clear. It was so clear that my paranoia of the ocean was at its peak with my newfound ability to see my imaginary foes approaching and lurking just beneath the surface. Unfortunately, my fear of the water ruined the kayaking trip we took but I fared better on the catamaran. I did fine playing like a 3-year old in the waist high surf.

The property is very nice and well kept. It seems like a well-worm tropical resort - just what it is. There was pretty much always food available. Right by the beach was a grill where they served delicious jerk pork and chicken. I actually preferred the fatty pork. The extra jerk sauce provided a nice, spicy kick. The also offered fish and chips which weren't so great and sloppy ice cream cones that while nothing to go crazy over, were a nice refreshment after the spicy jerk food.

The fancy restaurants on the premises can be skipped in favor of the buffet. We never went to the Veranda (international food/sit-down) but we went to Le Gourmet for a 'fancy' meal and we almost went to Bayside for Italian food. Le Gourmet is setup to be a fancy place on the inside, with a piano player that plays too loud. The staff is very friendly and attentive. The food tries to be creative and presented well, but ends up being nice in a Queens, NY sort of way. The next night, we took one look at the Bayside menu, looked at the kitchen and thought about all of the Italian places we have experienced in NYC and the food we are capable of cooking ourselves and opted for the buffet again.

The weather was wonderful all four days. It rained on one day and even that was nice. It was strange, I stood out on my balcony to watch the rain and it was actually raining on one half of the property but not the other. The property isn't that big, it was that the storm was that small. The property does have some nice things for couples to discover. If you walk around out front, there is a garden with a hammock and with two hidden jacuzzis. One can get lost walking through the garden and it is advised that you don't wear nice shoes if you go explore this area. There seems to be some kind of bird sanctuary in this garden but it doesn't seem built for public viewing. Maybe we just didn't go to the right part to view the birds. We only heard there shrieking cries that reminded me of velociraptors from Jurassic Park. The birds could be heard all night with their piercing cries.

On our last night, we attending a cocktail party on the pier and as we were leaving, a staff member approached and congratulated us on our 8th anniversary. She asked if anyone gave us a gift and we said no. Later that night, a plate of chocolates and a bottle of champagne was delivered to our hotel room.

One our last day, we left early to make sure we didnt miss any flights. The bus ride back to the airport was just as long and the commute to the resort. We got to the airport and checked in our luggage and had some time to kill. Lunch at Margaritaville was expensive and not great. Finally, the plane arrived - late. We were nervous because we had a connecting flight that left about 1.5 hours after we landed in Philly. We arrived in Philly and were hit with the bad news that we needed to retrieve our luggage , go through customs and then check it back in before the next flight! We were already running late, waited an eternity for the luggage, ran through customs, checked it in (being assured it would get to our place) and then had to wait for a shuttle to take us to the correct part of the airport. The shuttle finally got us there and we ran out onto the tarmac to get our next flight. We finally got to LGA but our luggage did not. After waiting to see if it came on the next two flights, we went home and it arrived 6am the next morning.

Overall, Couples Ocho Rios is a beautiful resort with friendly, hospitable staff and plenty of things to keep you occupied. The ocean is beautiful and you really get your money's worth if you want lots of things to do, but I think it is worth it even to just lay on the beach and forget the world. Unfortunately, the effort required to get there and back each consume an entire day, which strikes me as unfair because you still have to pay for those days to the resort. That aspect, in addition to wanted to see other parts of the world, would probably keep me from going back in the near future. I hope Jamaica improves their roads, builds a high-speed train from the airport to those areas or companies build reosrts closer to the airport.